Open Heart Open Home, Chapters 17 and 18

Welcome!  I'm so glad you stopped by!  Today I am linking up to The Common Room where The Head Mistress is sharing the book "Open Heart Open Home", by Karen Mains.  We are reading chapters 17 and 18 this week. 

Chapter 17 is entitled "Creativity and Simplicity".  One thing that stood out to me in this chapter was a passage that stated, "Once God's kingdom has become our priority, we will not always need to ask "What shall we eat, or drink, or put on?"  He will provide.  Our hospitality can't help but reflect this."  I think this is so true, and I really want to work on this attitude.  I do tend to plan every detail of an event, instead of doing the inviting and sharing, and giving God the opportunity to provide.  I'm going to make a conscious effort to let God be in charge of our hospitality. 

In another paragraph Karen talks of God always honoring us when we step out in faith in front of him.  He will provide for us when we give him the opportunity instead of trying to take care of everything ourselves.  If we give God the opportunity and pray about it, God will provide us what we need every time.  Recently I was wishing for a couch.  I had used the one we had for many years.  It had been my Mother's "good" couch during the time I was growing up.  I had covered it with fabric and throws, but I was really wishing for a new one. I didn't want to pay for a new one, though.  I'd look at the thrift store on half price day, but I never found one that we could use.  Then one day I was at a thrift store in Tennessee that I don't go to often.  There, just as I went in the door, was a suede leather couch for $450.  Pretty good price, but not what I wanted to pay.  Then I noticed a second piece, a matching love seat.  Two pieces for $450.  Pretty good price, but still not what I wanted to pay.  When I was exiting the store, I saw the sign.  "4 piece living room set.  Only sat on about three times.  $450".  There was also a chair and over-sized foot stool.  Four pieces for $450.  That sounded really good.  More than I wanted to spend, but for brand new furniture!  The owner of the store had bought it for his house, put it in a room upstairs for his kids to use, and they never used it.  So he and his wife decided to sell it.  The furniture was only three months old!  I took pictures on my cell phone, and decided to talk to my husband.  If it was meant for us, it would happen.  My husband was all for the new furniture, on the condition that I agreed to get rid of what we were replacing.  No Problem!  We had some insurance money from the tornado, to replace some furniture.  So I called the store the next day.  Someone else was suppose to pay that morning.  I told the store owner that if it didn't work out to let me know, and we would take it.  So the people did not show up with their money.  The owner let me know, and Pappy and I went and paid for the furniture.  So I know first hand, God will provide in His time! 

Chapter 18 is entitled "At Ease".  This is a very short chapter and basically is about making your guests feel at ease.  This is something we should all remember.  One other thing I wanted to mention.  While cleaning out a thrift store that is going out of business, this week, I found a little book that I thought went along with this topic.  The book is titled, "The Pleasure of Your Company - Simple Ideas for Enjoyable Entertaining" by Ann Platz and Susan Wales.  This book has beautiful illustrations, and has ideas for different entertaining situations, along with menus.  Ideas like Grandmother Baby Shower, Harvest Supper, Get Well and Feel Better Dinner, and a Singles Valentine Party.  Cute ideas that I would like to try one day, and the food looks delicious.

I have really enjoyed linking up for this book discussion.  I want to thank The Head Mistress for this opportunity! I hope you have enjoyed it too!  Honey

Open Heart Open Home, Chapters 15 and 16

Welcome!  I'm so glad you stopped by!  Today I am linking up to The Common Room where The Head Mistress is sharing the book Open Heart Open Home, by Karen Mains.  We are reading chapters 15 and 16 this week.  The title of these chapters are "Stewards of Time" and "Shortcuts".

In Chapter 15, Karen starts out talking about her husband, and how he has always been in charge of time.  She said that time had control of her.  I feel very similarly.  I usually do things last minute, but I am not usually late.  I just usually don't see a need to do things before they have to be done, if you understand what I mean.  I have a sign hanging over my stove that reads:  If it weren't for last minutes, nothing would ever get done!  That is so true, and it drives my husband nuts!  I am trying to become more orderly and in control of a schedule.  This has really become more apparent in the last year because my husband retired.  He used to work third shift and sleep all day.  Now he is home.  So he likes a routine, and I have to try to find one!  Actually, we have had schedules and routines in the past.  But at each change of our lives, those things have to be adjusted.  So this time is one of those changes.

On page 172 Karen mentions that "Since Abraham put Sarah away privately when she was with child, I felt we in decency should do no less, and for those last few months I remained home from church, grateful for the few morning hours of silence."  I thought this was interesting.  I wonder if she would feel that way if she was expecting today?  I say that because the original text was written in 1976.  Although I'm sure I would enjoy the silence now! But I believe she had a difficult pregnancy, so that may have been a reason also.

Karen talks in this chapter, also, of realizing "our time is really His time".  I think I am at that time of my life.  I find myself thinking of God and His plans for me and my family, more and more.  I don't know if that comes from age, or maturity.  I always want to feel that the Lord would know He is welcome any time in our home.

At the end of chapter 15, Karen writes about going on an over-simplifying kick.  She realized that people like to feel that you fussed over them.  I'm sort of the opposite.  I like to see how sometimes simple things that others do, are very satisfying and can be elegant.  I remind myself at those times that I don't have to spend a lot of money, or all day getting ready, to entertain and offer hospitality. 

Chapter 16 talks of Shortcuts.  Karen feels that if she has a good housekeeping schedule in place, it is not necessary to clean before company.  I don't know if I will ever be at that point.  I will at least have to run around and pick up the piles of mail, books, etc., and swish the brush around the toilet! 

On page 182, she talks of being unique in your decor.  She mentions using an old patchwork quilt as a table cloth.  I am actually doing this.  I got a quilt out of one of our empty rental houses.  It is covered in large daisies, about the size of plates, in different colors.  I love it, and it makes me happy to look at it.  Well, that must be a matter of taste, because we were expecting company, and my daughter asked me if she could remove the "bedspread" from the table!  I said, "NO!".  Oh, you know.  One man's treasure.....

I love "dishes".  Really this includes any kind of kitchen item.  We come across lots of "treasures"  in our empty rental houses, and at thrift stores and flea markets, etc.  Recently a young girl at church was married.  I loaned her all my china plates and several serving pieces to use at the wedding.  Antique china is a weakness of mine.  So Kate used my "mismatched plates" at her reception.  I was somewhat embarrassed when a lady said, "all these plates are yours?"  Yes, all 80 plates.  So I really don't need to collect any thing.  If you ladies need to borrow anything, you just let me know!  I've got it covered!

Please come back to see me tomorrow.  Got to the last line, and GrandBoy said, " Honey, cut it off" and pushed a button!  I thought this was gone for good!  Thank goodness for auto save and drafts! Honey

My quilt "tablecloth"

Open Heart Open Home, Chapters 13 and 14

Today I am linking this post to The Common Room and the Headmistress's post about the book "Open Heart Open Home.  This week we are reading chapters 13 and 14. 

Chapter 13 is entitled Open Hearts and Chapter 14 is entitled The Hospice.  The chapters are about extreme acts of hospitality.  I have admired for years, the women I have known who make this look so easy.  I would like to do more of this, and hope one day to be able to do so.  We try to share our home with others as their needs are made know to us and as we feel the Lord would want us to.

Twice during our life at the farm, our grandmothers have come to live for extended periods of time.  My husband's grandmother came to live with us when my father-in-law (her son) died.  She was here for about 6 months.  It was an interesting experience for me having another woman in the house, and I feel a great benefit to our children. 

When my own grandfather passed on, my grandmother came to live with us until a month before her death, when hospice took over her care.  These times required a lot of putting the other person first, while still trying to provide the routine my own children were used to in their lives.  My grandmother resisted being here so much, but she was unable to live alone.  I think this was a great learning experience for my children.  These are still difficult times to think about and remember, even years later.  I remember going to a Ladies Day Meeting at our church during the time my grandmother was staying with us.  The lesson was about juggling our responsibilities and wearing many hats.  I sat there all day with tears running down my face.  At the end of the day the lady leading the meeting asked who had enjoyed the day and learned something.  I remember saying, "I don't ever want to study this again"!  But I'm so glad we were able to keep our grandmothers in our home.  And I most certainly would do it again.

Thanks so much for stopping by!  Please come back again tomorrow.  Honey

Open Heart Open Home, Chapters 11 and 12

Hi!  Today I am linking this post to The Common Room where the Headmistress is reviewing the book Open Heart, Open Home by Karen Mains.  Today we are at chapters 11 and 12. 

Chapter 11 is entitled "The Finest House in Town".  To me this chapter was about sharing what we are gifted with.  Our talents are a gift from God.  We are to invest our talents and grow them to serve our Lord.  Those who have been given much, much will be expected from them.  The book told of a family who had the nicest house in town.  But they didn't share it with others.  Those not as fortunate stood outside the fence and watched, but were never invited inside.  There have been several instances in my life where I did not feel included.  What is the saddest is when I knew we weren't included, but my children didn't understand.  We visited a church when my girls were little.  The baby was 18 months and the twins were 31 months old.  I went to church with the children alone because my husband is not a believer.  This was a really large church, and I thought they would have a lot to offer my children in the way of classes, curriculum, etc.  I took the girls to the nursery because they became fussy.  There were two ladies sitting in rocking chairs, in a huge room full of toys, with no babies to watch.  They said "We don't allow children in the nursery over 18 months".  I looked around the room, and said "You mean you have no children in here, but they can't come in because they are too old?"  They let the girls come in, and I went back to finish the worship service alone, and ponder over what had just happened.  When I picked the girls up after the service, they were still the only children in there.  The ladies asked the girls' ages.  When I told them, they said they had guessed they were stair-step children, but not the twin part.  No one offered to help us to the car, no one introduced themselves.  They were all busy hurrying to their cars.  Eventually we visited a small country church full of older people who were crazy about my babies!  They would meet us at the car, offer to help get the girls in the building, etc.  We stayed at that congregation for about 17 years.  Sometimes what you think you need, doesn't look like you expect.

One of my daughters is not like other people.  We were told when she was small that we needed to keep a close eye on her because she "doesn't see bad in people".  She thinks everyone she meets is just like her.  One day we were at a fast food restaurant and a beggar was outside.  My daughter walked over and gave him money for lunch out of her own wallet.  I didn't think it was wise, but I didn't say anything.  I wondered if she does this kind of thing when she is out alone. When we came outside, the beggar was still there, this time getting money from a new lady.  When he asked that lady for money for food, my daughter said, "Oh, no.  I just gave you money, remember?  Did you lose it?"  The new lady grabbed her kids and left, and I was afraid the beggar was going to kill us.  But my daughter really believed  the beggar had misplaced his money.  I need to be more like my daughter.  She gives with an open fist.  She doesn't worry or wonder what they are going to do with the money.  She fills a need as she sees it.  It is not my problem if I give and they buy alcohol or something else.  It is just my job to give.  My husband will not give money to people, but he will buy them a meal.  No one will ever go hungry if he is around. 

I guess the main lesson from these chapters is it all belongs to God.  Just like the talents in the Bible.  It is just our job to take care of them and grow them.  I'm going to try to remember that as I go through my days in the future.

Thanks for stopping by!  Honey

Open Heart Open Home - Chapters 7 and 8

I'm sorry I am so late getting caught up on my reading.  Just been a busy week in my family, I guess.  In Karen Mains book Open Heart Open Home, Chapter 7 is entitled Tell Tale Marks.  I believe this chapter is mainly about being hospitable to those in our family, our children's friends, etc.  Although I believe we should treat our family as well as we do guests, I don't really consider this hospitality.  I also agree with her that sometimes we overlook opportunities to be hospitable to those we see often.  Such as neighborhood children.  When my girls were little, say 5 and 6, we carried an older neighborhood girl to church with us for a long time.  She was probably about 10.  I remember one Sunday she wouldn't behave in church.  I turned to her and whispered harshly, "do you want to go outside?"  Mind you, this in not my child, but someone else's.  I don't know what I thought I was going to do to her in the parking lot, but she was horrified.  She said "NO, NO!".  I was so embarrassed that I forgot who she was, and who I was more importantly.  But she settled down and everything was fine.  I guess I didn't treat her much like a guest.  But what she really wanted was to be treated like a member of our family.  So maybe it all worked out OK. 

Chapter 8 is entitled Welcome.  In this chapter it is discussed that life doesn't wait to start until you get married.  This is a good lesson.   We have opportunities to show hospitality at all stages in life.  I know where I used to go to church for many years, an elderly couple would have a fish fry each fall for the "widow women".  I thought it kind of odd at first, since they were still married.  But now I see what an honor and treat this was for all involved.  We should all look for opportunities that may easily be overlooked by the majorities.

Now I am caught up and ready to move on this week to chapters 9 and 10.  See you soon.

Honey

Open Heart, Open Home: Chapters 3 and 4

I'm sorry, but I am very late in taking part in this post. We had company for the 4Th. ALOT of company! But it was a lot of fun. It seems the older I get, the longer it takes to recover from things like that. But that is OK. I believe that I relaxed and enjoyed this more than I usually do. I tend to fret a lot and want everything to be perfect. But this time I let some things go, and it all worked out OK.

Over at the Common Room, the Head Mistress posted some questions we could use if we chose. I'm going to use them, because I feel like I tend to not comment on the chapter so much if I just ramble.

Question 1. What does the Holy Spirit have to do with your hospitality? I pray each day that I will recognize the opportunities the the Lord and the Holy Spirit put before me. Too often, too many people confuse "entertaining" with "hospitality". I think entertaining should be a part of hospitality, but hospitality is done because we recognize a need in some one's life. Even if it is inconvenient, hospitality should still be offered. There is always need, and opportunities will become apparent to us if we are open to them.

Question 2. Is, "I don't have the gift of hospitality" a valid reason for a Christian not to practice hospitality? No. Many times in the Bible God has put tasks before someone that they did not want to do. But they still had to do it, and God showed them a way. God sees in us talents that we don't realize we have. But regardless, if the need of hospitality is there, the recipient will not care if you are not "good" at it. They will just be glad you offered and shared what you have.

This just happened in my own kitchen, just this afternoon. I heard knocking, and a neighbor couple was knocking on my door. The next thing I know my husband was leading them inside to sit in my kitchen because it was too hot to visit outside. I looked at them before they even got inside and said "I'm glad you came by. Please have a seat, just don't look at my dirty house!" They laughed and acted as if I were joking. But I proceeded to pick up, rearrange, and wash dishes the whole time they were here. We had a big gathering at our home on the 4Th of July. We are still putting up platters and large bowls we only use for times like that. Plus, even thought dishes had been done that night and the next day, we are still gathering bowls, and glasses, etc, to be washed and put away. I had it on my list today to work on the kitchen, but the neighbors arrived just as I was getting in from church. My husband apologized later, and explained to me what had happened. I told him that it was perfectly fine. I would rather the kitchen been neat, but I was doing a Bible study on hospitality and I could not allow my pride to keep me from offering to share with our neighbors. My husband is not a believer (Christian) yet. I think he was impressed that I would swallow my pride in the middle of a kitchen of dirty dishes and make these friends feel welcome. Maybe this was one of the days that the "Lord worked in mysterious ways" in my home.

I think the older I get it is easier to offer hospitality to others. I don't know if it is because we have more to offer, we have more room now, I have no small children, or because I'm just more comfortable with who I am. But what ever the reason, I find it easier at this stage of my life.

Question 3: How do you develop the gift of hospitality? The only way I know to develop the gift of hospitality is to be hospitable. Practice makes perfect, I always told my children. It will get easier the more we do it. As my children got older, they sometimes would be quicker to notice a hospitality need. When they would ask me about it, I never wanted to discourage this action in my children, so I always tried to make an effort to offer hospitality, even if I wouldn't have on my own. I wanted my children to know that with God, we can do anything!

Before you have people in your home, it would be a good idea to pray about the evening and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and show you how to proceed. I think wonderful things will happen if this path is taken.

If something comes up and you feel led to ask someone to dinner, do it. Don't worry if you haven't cooked enough. I'm sure there is something you can add to make enough for dinner, Everything will work out fine. Recently I asked some children what they were doing after Easter service. They said "nothing - there is nothing to do!". I said go ask your Grandma if you can come home with me. So they did, and our egg hunt for one Grandboy stretched easily for four other children. They didn't care what we ate. Regardless it was festive, and something they weren't going to do at home. So I felt glad I could share with them, and wished I had planned it from the start.

I look forward to the next chapters in this book, and will try to be more prompt in the future!

Please come back to see us. Love, Honey